They say when you die, your life flashes in front of you like one beautiful movie. I wouldn’t be surprised if it does and I hope that it is so. Memories are the things we live for. Vacations, births, birthdays, milestones, incidents and experiences together – what else is there, really? These are the things that bond us.
Any relationship worth anything has seen both dark times and light. Surprisingly, we are bonded equally in both. The painful times weathered together tether us with equal weight as the happy times. Survival is bonding. Pain is bonding. Beauty is `bonding. Fear is bonding. What is it about time spent together that makes us want to be together more? I say it is the way we get to know each other in these circumstances – first time experiences shared together – the raw, unharnessed emotional roller coaster makes us grip the person next to us harder. We see another side of our partners in these scenarios.
Difficult times just happen – we don’t need to seek more of them! Like I said though, embrace them, for they mean you came out wiser and stronger together – and this brings you closer as a couple. Seeing your partner through pain and being their support creates a stronger bond as well.
Create more happy memories. Some of our best memories have been made in our firsts: snorkeling, rock climbing, paragliding, flying a single engine plane, hiking, traveling to a new country or skiing down a bowl that I never thought I ever could. Sometimes he nudges me and other times I am the nudger. I am almost always grateful for the experience and, more importantly, the memory. I remember hiking through the rainforest in Costa Rica together – lost – with not enough water in sweltering heat. As dusk was falling, we finally made it out before darkness closed in. The relief in itself was bonding! I don’t think we ever celebrated something as much as that.
How long has it been since you have done something beyond your comfort zone or something that you have wanted to do and have put off? It’s vital as a couple to inject novelty into your life together no matter what that means to you personally. Ask yourself ... what have I put off doing and how can I make it happen? Life is about living – and stagnant water becomes rancid. Talk about goals, wishes, dreams and desires, and actually put them into action on the calendar. You don’t have to be as nutty as us – maybe going to a movie or an event will do it for you.
I have so many memories of our life together and I treasure them more any possession I own. Memories bond us, and without them, it all means nothing. My theory ... do something cool together at least once a month and put as many memories as you can into your memory bank – they are our largest asset and barometer of wealth as far as I am concerned.
Any healthy relationship should be full of life and constantly making a movie that anyone would die to watch again and again.