If I hear Adele on the radio just one more time I might scream. I am lunging at the dial these days when I hear the first morbid note of Hello. Don’t get me wrong, Adele is a prolific and talented writer and has a powerful, beautiful voice, but right about now we have all had enough. It’s just. Too. Much. Adele.
So what keeps us all flocking to her sad breakup songs? Why is Adele selling out stadiums in record times? Why are we so in love with being sad? Why do we cling to the heartache of lost love, failed relationships and breakups like we do? What are we getting out of this (except for the wine and Ben and Jerry’s fest that often accompanies many breakup personal pity parties)?
I have a theory. Wallowing serves a purpose. The severance of a human relationship is painful. We usually don’t just rip off the Band-Aid and move on—instead, we stew in the pain. We revisit the fights and rehash the whys in an endless and sometimes pointless loop. We get angry, sad, vengeful and jealous. Sometimes we cling in our inability to detach. Bottom line—we have to mourn loss and feel the pain. Adele’s music gives us a stage for the funeral of our breakups. People are breaking up all around the world as you read this—and Adele keeps singing.
It’s ok to feel sad about your breakup. That’s normal, and wallowing for a little while is ok too. However, fermenting in it is downright unhealthy. Consider the possibility that there is more happiness on The Other Side where you move on and open yourself up to new relationships and new opportunities. Embrace the lessons you learned from the relationship, the love that was shared, the gains, how you grew from it, and what you will steer clear of now. Take all of the above and fold it neatly into your pocket. And, for Pete’s sake stop calling him/her from The Other Side.
Don’t stay stuck. Many get mired and set up life in “Adeleland”. If you listen closely, many of her songs are about reclaiming power and standing strong again despite pain. I like that. Ultimately a relationship is like the jelly in a peanut butter sandwich. Peanut butter is better with jelly, but it’s also good alone. Learn to like yourself and being alone. I would take that over a bad relationship, or one that is not meant to be, any day. Go do something awesome by yourself or with your friends.
Ok, I love you Adele. Don’t write me hate mail. It’s just that we all need to leave the funeral and the graveside of our severed relationships eventually. But one last thing I want to say to Adele—why on God’s green earth would you turn around and say “Never mind, I will find someone like you.” Really? Have we learned nothing here? And Adele keeps singing and getting rich.